The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
