oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
