it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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