The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
