i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
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