ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
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