come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Randomize
