So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
