If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Randomize
