nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Randomize
