I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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