Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
NoShamevember. You game?
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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