We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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