how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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