physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Randomize
