I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
