Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
