Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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