soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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