Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
