Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
