yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Brb crying the tears of my youth
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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