at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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