Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
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