I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
