wat bout pragnant strippers??
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize
