Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
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