He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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