I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
