I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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