But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
