when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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