I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
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