i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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