You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
