So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
