you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
