your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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