I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
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