It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize
