are you still at the devil's house?
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
