bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
