It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
