i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
