Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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