just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
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