Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
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