So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
did you just send me my own nude
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize
