ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
