well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
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