did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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