love makes seman taste better
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
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