He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
