I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
