You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
