Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
