Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
she told me i tasted like america
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
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