high people should be assigned attendants
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Randomize
