honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Randomize