After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Randomize
